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Pastor Kip
Yes, it's true my brethren.
Pastor Kip will soon be packing up the "Mobile
Worship Center", also know as the Church of Jesus
Recreation vehicle, and heading out across this great
country of ours in search of fellowship and the finest
golf courses Canada has to offer. I' ve polished up the
Callaways and will be available for bookings at your
Church (evangelicals only please), or to play an
inspirational round at your course (minimum rating of
134, slope 124). So why not contact the Church of Jesus
and book (subject to terms and conditions) Pastor
Kip for a "Revival Service", this is surely to
be a night for your congregation to remember. Pastor Kip
will also be available for private counseling and for
private golf instruction (hourly or daily rates apply).
PLEASE BOOK EARLY !!!!!
Joining
Pastor Kip this summer will be South Korean LPGA
hopeful Mia Lee Ding. Besides being an excellent
candidate to join the growing contingency of South
Korean Ladies on the tour, Mia is also very dedicated to
our Lord and savior, praise Him!!!!!! She is also a
distinguished ventriloquist, hoping with much practice
to assume the title of "Canada's Foremost
Ventriloquist". She will also be available to
entertain your Church Youth Group with her lovable Korean
Puppets. Ventriloquism was an Korean art handed down
from generation to generation. In ancient times, it was
used by local shaman of the Shinto religion to scare
young children into behaving. It was believed that the
puppets were possessed by demons and kid's were told if
they didn't "tow the line", the evil spirits
would ingest the their brains as they
slept. Mia Lee has denounced these pagan
rituals and now only uses her puppets to teach Children
how to save themselves from an eternity of Damnation.
Please be advised to also book Mia Lee early, as we here
at the Church of Jesus anticipate an overwhelming
response to this offer (terms and conditions also
apply).
STAY
TUNED FOR MORE DETAILS COMING SOON........UNTIL
THEN....KEEP IN ON THE SHORT STUFF.....
In Him,
Pastor Kip
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| from p:
Who
are u to judge jack van impe or any other pastor or
prophet do u think your god and able to judge or
even distinguish what is right or wrong are you
completely faithless you are a fool for not heeding the
warnings even if it doesn't happen in our life time we
need to be prepared plus we are also blessed for
watching for the return of our lord and savior.
Leading people to think jack van impe is a flake is a
work of Satan. so what if he drives a nice car or
actually does have a fat stash of cash. having money is
nothing more than a blessing from god don't you read old
testament scriptures one man comes to mind KING
DAVID , god made him rich. that's just one example
that comes to mind. he is blessed by god and he receives
money from god lest there would be no god he would
receive no money at all but through gods will, people
send money to him in love you should read your old
testament more cause your are not obeying the laws of
the old testament and I don't want to hear that the old
testament died when Jesus died either cause the only
thin Jesus did was sacrifice we no longer need to
sacrifice blood to be forgiven everything else in the
old testament still stands firm ohh yah and the person
named TN on the comment list who talks about worshiping
a tree instead of Jesus you have not the father
for he who accepts Jesus accepts the father you do not
accept the father if you don't accept Jesus. I think im
going to go cut down some trees. but for the rest of
your church I pray for you to humble yourselves and to
stat teaching the right way would Jesus call jack
van impe an idiot I don't think so may the spirit
of yah enter your lives and change you all please do not
harden your heart to this message for great destruction
follows the wicked man who hardens his heart.this curse
shall Yahweh send on all who oppose him all his enemies
god shall take you off the foundation of earth you have
a choice a peaceful way out or a painful gruesome way
out you continue in your sin you will be severely
punished for your iniquity.
god bless you
P*****
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| from a different guy
whose name starts with "p"
I am just curious if this thing is a joke or what?
If it is it's funny, but
if it isn't supposed to be a joke the theology behind this
web-site is
completely backwards. Anyway, I thought the Jack Van
Impe thing was a
scream because I watch the show sometimes and while I
don't think it's cool
to bash them on a Christian web-site, I can't say I didn't
get a kick out of
it. Still, Jack has his shortcomings, but if you can
follow the scripture
that he spews out you will find that it is accurate. Whatever, liked the
site though I didn't understand it. God bless,
P***
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