Biblical Ramblings
by
Pastor Josh
These sometimes brilliant bible
rantings/ramblings by Pastor Josh is always ready to inspire or confuse. Read and
wonder - re-read and discover the cosmic truth of his inspired typing. The
words are very often too powerful for the young so please use your
discretion in repeating what you may read here. For the Church of Jesus
.ca will always publish the thoughts of our most consistent visitors.
Jesus and God would have it no other way.
Feb 4, 2002:
If I could have got to him sooner, through
my not funded (or recognized YET!) cause, we could have prevented this
from happening.
In the land of UZ there was a blameless and
upright man named Job, who feared God and avoided evil. 7 sons and 3
daughters were born to him. (must of hurt), and
he had 7000 sheep, 3000 camels, 500 yoke of oxen, 500 she-asses (OK why
do you need she asses, when you have lots of sheep), and a great number of
work animals ,so that he was greater than any of the men of
the East. His sons used to take turns giving head....whoops
I mean feasts, sending invitations to their 3 sisters to eat and drink
with them. Squeal like pig. And when each feast had run its course fat slob, Job
would send for them and sanctify them U2
-----of course Satan (guy on sabres, think
he's a forward) has to answer ........(I come)....from roaming the earth
and patrolling it (maybe he's a defenceman, who knows?)
The CHURCH needs me!
I will come.
All I can say is WOW! That is really
something. It took all of three readings before I saw the holy inspiration
that is in those awesome words. Jesus is alive in the words that Pastor
Josh has provided. Praise be to the Lord! He has risen and his word will
be eternal.
Feb 11, 2002
Departure from Horeb
6" The Lord, our God, said to us at
Horeb, You have stayed long enough at this welfare hostel, or
mountain.7* Leave here you freeloading bunch of slugs, and go to
the hill country of the Amorites and just be nasty to their people, and
to all the surrounding regions, then we'll just move on to the Canaanites in
Arabah, the mountains, the foothills, the Negeb and the seacoast; to
Lebanon,( we will fight them on the beaches, we will, do other stuff to,
over there. Sir Winny Churchill's great great great and possibly great
grandfather, Winston Deuteronomy. I, as usual, ramble. :-)
We now pick the story up on the same bat
bible, the same rat pandemic, they were headed to Lebanon, and as far as
the Great River (the Euphrates), 8*I have given that land over to you.
(must be in the Kawartha lakes). Go now and OCCUPY the land, (need I say
more?), I swore to your fathers, Abraham, Isaac and Jacob (should not
swear, is a sin you know), I would give to them and their descendants.'
Threats of Revolt
Feb 12, 2002
The line in the sand has been drawn.
I told you that you needed the CIA of the
lord!
If you give me the funding, they will come.
I think, (probably a bad thing), that there
is
some way to attack outright. But if
you think
that you can chip away at his heresy in
small
chunks, I will come. You need some big
linguistic
brains. (bout time you seek out Eddy big
brain, 1 wing) Yes, with help, you can be #1.
(pills are not the answer)
BRO JOSH
Our Pastor Josh is frequent
contributor. Kind of like a Biblical version of Hunter S. Thompson I
think. Pray for Josh, he knows not what he has done.
Ok in his latest Biblical Rambling,
Pastor Josh is ...... well not feeling up to par. He seems to
be assuming some different characters.
-
Vietnam Vet
-
a Catholic
-
Sports reporter
We have promised the Pastor that he
may submit his rambling at will, so here it goes.
they made it a wasteland and called it peace
in the year the general sent by Sargon, King
of Assyria, fought against Ashdod and captured it. Captivity is no good.
oh by the way the Luggnanians are a polite
and generous people according to the Struldbruggs.
head or tail, palm branch or reed: the leaders
or the people;
when we marched into the rice paddies on
that damp March afternoon, we carried, along with our packs and
rifles, the implicit convictions that the ENEMY could be quickly beaten.
We kept the packs and rifles; the convictions we lost. (Philip
Caputo)
oh by the way I know this fireman who is
training for the 2006 Olympics in snow shovel sprinting/pole vaulting.
he's got a shot at a meda l(if his shoulder comes around after
the training incident)
and if any one cares, my pickeral/walleye
trip is coming up real soon.
I hate fish, Good Friday always was a
bummer. where's the beef?
Pastor Josh
Slightly disturbing don't you think. Good thing he is a Christian or I
might have to report him to the authorities.
05/15/2002
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